Be Free!!

a MaScian friend sent me this yesterday as a birthday present??... bakit kaya?? hehehhehe

BE FREE!!
Author Unknown

1. There is freedom in littleness, slavery in greatness. When you are little, you strive and depend harder on God. When you are great, you depend on yourself.

2. There is freedom in humility, slavery in pride and honor. When you are humble, you accept yourself, your experiences, and God. When you have pride and honor, you tend to reject and deny negative experiences, always defending yourself. Along with these comes rationalizing and blindness since you look at experiences your way against God's way.

3. There is freedom in weakness, slavery in power and might. When you are weak, you call on God and patiently wait and listen for His response. When you are powerful and mighty, you listen and hear only yourself.

4. There is freedom in rejection, slavery in worldly acceptance. When you are rejected, you turn to God. When you are accepted, you turn to man.

5. There is freedom in failure, slavery in success. When you fail, you try again until you succeed. Your spirit is enkindled in the process. When you are successful, you give up trying even before you begin, so that you can rule out the possibility of failing.

6. There is freedom in suffering and sacrifice, slavery in comfort. When we sacrifice what we want or are beset with sufferings, we become selfless. When we have comfort, we tend to hold on to it, sometimes fearful of losing it that we eventually become selfish and self-centered.

7. There is freedom in innocence, slavery in knowledge. When you are innocent, there is a lot of room for the Spirit of God to work in you. Purity can be nurtured. When you are knowledgeable, you depend on your acquired learnings and decide from time to time, according to need, the acceptance or rejection of God's Spirit. Your thoughts, speech, and actions are always self-motivated.

8. There is freedom in poverty, slavery in richness. When you are poor, you have nothing to lose, you are not afraid to lose even your life. When are rich, you hold on to your wealth. If you fear losing your material possessions, what more your life?

9. There is freedom in earthly death, slavery in earthly life. When you are not afraid to die, it is because you believe, and long to cross the unknown yet inevitable road that will bring you back to God. When you are too absorbed and filled with your earthly life, you take for granted the reality of death. You block the only path that can take you back to God.

10. There is freedom in God, slavery in the world. When you choose to follow and obey God, you are able to experience His commitment to love and shower you with the grace to be able to love. When you choose the world, it has no commitment to you. Therefore, you wander aimlessly and remain lost in the dark.

Happy Birthday Nats!!!!

gluttony is a sin too!!

grabe... there were just too many leftovers tonight.. it's my birthday and dad,mom,met,olen,and gil were here. earlier in the afternoon i had a children's party..i had fun givin out food and giveaways to these children from the neighborhood..shempre since i'm no donald trump, tig Php5-15pesos lang yung mga toys pero, mannn.. tuwang tuwa sila.. shempre pa rin ang galing ng mga pili ko... simple pero rock as always.. hehehhe anyway, mga 5am this morning ronell and i went to the commonwealth market to buy shrimps, tilapia and my favorite, atay ng manok.
then we went to fairview to buy goat's heads and legs for his sinigang na mee-mee. dad brought in liempo and hito(sobrang dami grabeee) and firecrackers..giant kwitis na sobrang dami rin.. sayang naubos sana di nila inubos so i wouldnt have to buy for the new year's hehehhe.. anyway, mom brought in the cake and lechon, noemi and gil bought crispy pata, and noreen fed me the finest pandesal na syang ikinabusog ko actually heheh ang sarap eh..

dad was looking for noodles kanina..pancit daw for long life but noemi couldnt find a place to buy pancit malabon..closed na e, so they went out to buy pancit canton sa chowking na lang, after i blew my candle... all 6 of them, hehehe di ko mablow in one single blow kasi si mommy nagpatawa.. sabi ko six years old... or sixteen.. while i was about to blow the candle sabi ba naman six times five daw bwahahahahah found it funny coz umiral ang pagka CPA baga... naghanap pa ng multiplier closest to my real age di napakali till sabihin heheheheh

after the lasenggo's videoke celebration, they were nice enough to help us clean up naman. kaka-awa lang yung isa na nauutusan namin dito..bullet din ang pangalan..bullet laki.. he's about norman's age, keda, tapos he had fever, tapos yung mga itatapon na nung mga manginginom na pinagsabawan nila ng kambing and yung mga tira tirang gutay gutay na isda and other pulutan, pinagsamasama nya and akala ko kaning baboy... yun pala pagkain daw nya ngayong gabi and tomorrow at hanggang kung kelan umabot yun.. arghhh.. and to think it was all food na for me di na dapat ikeep to eat..dirty na.. hayy nakuuu... one man's garbage is another's much needed food pala...to think too that sometimes i try to eat everything though i'm full .. kasi i was thinking sayang kung di ko kainin kesa tapon lang.. e pwede naman kung di ko na gusto, tutal naserving spoon naman ..give it to others who might want it still...

naguilty tuloy ako, kasi hindi pa ako nakakapag-feeding program this year.. naks feeding program kala mo sikat hehehe.. every year kasi, since i started earning for real, i prepare something for the children out in the streets...beggars, cigarette vendors, then lately sinasama ko na si bullet magdistribute nun.. many years ago i was doing jollibee or mcdo burgers, but last year we did chicken sandwich and juice.. this year, tuna and egg sandwich and juice... i know i'll make some--di naman kaya lahat--more children not only happier, but fed at least kahit paano... i'm not waiting for my good karma in this lifetime though.. kahit sa next lifetime ma-appreciate ng supreme being ang instead of making me into a cockroach in my next life, gawin na lang nya akong tao ulit :) heheheeh

anyway, i didn't eat too much, kasi 1)gluttony is a sin too ha! 2) bakamagrecur pa sakit chan ko eh di hanap na naman ako bathroom agad 3)eating too much is bad for the health 4)ayaw ko na tumaba ulit! hehehheehhe 5)walang gulay kasi eh..nakalimutan ko magpaluto..naks nagvevegetable na ako ha.. di lang yan, i crave for it na rin haa!!

so it's sleeping time and i gotta sleep.. beauty sleep.. happy birthday to me... sana matigil ko yosi ko or mabawasan considerably...arghhh

Vertically Challenged For A Week

still am. opened the laptop and tried to do some work, but i couldn't think straight. it seems as though i'd get the feel of a document but vertigo would set right in. somehow i don't quite enjoy this kind of bumming around. it's christmas for crissakes and if the john is anything like a church then, lemme compute, i've done around 50 stations a day which will gimme 350 stations already!! i'd be a saint! arghhh! so this is what amoebiasis feels like.. actually i feel better now--relatively.. if having tummy contractions similar to the one i had when i gave birth to bullet, and migrains, and vertigo, and throwing up episodes would relatively be better, can you imagine what i was feeling yesterday and days before that?? oh i forgot to mention i also had fever till last night-- i was so messed up that our family christmas dinner almost had to be spent in the hospital instead of our parent's batangas orchard. actually we had to spend it in my hubby's qc home just so we could all be together. we were incomplete as is is, we didn't want to be 'more incomplete'. arghhh here it comes again.. hello vertigo...

fpj is neither jose rizal nor superman

there are a lot of talk these days about bestowing upon fernando poe jr. the title 'national hero' or a 'philippine hero'. being the man that he was, i'd think that even FPJ wouldn't want to be given some title that doesn't really have any meaning these days, and one too that offers no relevance to the lives of the very people that he had been helping and had been trying to help. the 'hero' title wouldn't feed, clothe, shelter this poverty stricken people robbed of their dreams. what's the use?

he's already a 'da king' of pilippine movies, the generous champion of those in need that he had once helped, the loved father and husband.. simply put.. he's already a filipino legend..whether the 'government' likes it or not. why demote him to some insignificant and cold title such as ' a national hero'?

we're going to have a baby tomorrow!!

it's 2:19am and i'm so excited. we're going to have a baby tomorrow. we already set up bullet's old crib, blankets, and baby toys.. my son is also excited about the baby's arrival at around 7am tomorrow and he's waiting for him at his old crib-- yup my first born-- now too tall to fit in there insisted on sleeping on the "baby's bed".and me...actually i'm still working, just taking a teeny weeny break..:)

tomorrow, i mean, later at around 6am, our younger house helper, annalyn is going with manang matda--the older house help-- to pick up her son since her sister, who's taking care of her baby while she's working, is going to do some christmas shopping during the day, and sooooo.. we're going to have the baby the whole day tomorrow.. wooohooo! it's going to be fun for bullet, ronell and i tomorrow.. :) ok... back to werk!

finding meaning for all these tragedies...

it's 8:27pm and i have already talked to nelson,my brother, who, i had been trying to reach for about a week now, and he said that he's fine(been tortured by the thought that he was ill, after a panic call from mommy)..i have finished the documents i've set to do today-- early.. i've also done some editing on the websites I'm making.. i'm also done drafting the initial business plan for this thing that's cooking up in my brain for about two days now.. i've hardly thought of anything else except that these past couple of days and i'm so excited about it.. but.. it's a surprise..in short... i can relax and doodle with my blogs..

so ok, since FPJ died, i've been stuck to this channel covering his wake.. and late last night, i had goosebumps watching another tragedy live as it was happening..House Speaker Joe de Venecia's mansion in Dasmarinas Village went up in flames..the family, guests, security people and household helpers were able to escape the raging fire, except for their youngest daughter, 16yr-old KC, who they thought went out for coffee with his older brother.. About an hour later, they were all in panic when the brother arrived--without KC and they received a phone call from the latter asking for help.another hour or two later,the lifeless body of the teener was carried out from the second floor. less than two hours after that, her body was cremated and was taken to another swanky village for her wake.

having no sleep and still thinking about my business plan, i could hardly think deeper than i would have wanted to. i mean... hello.. what's happening here? the presidentiable king of philippine cinema, who was the hope not only of the philippine "masa" but also of all those crying out for the eradication of corruption in the government national just died. this guy was everybody's hero. heck, he could even be the envied hero of his political opponents. actually this sounds queer.. he's not actually a politician, see. but his heart is so big that all those he's helped all these years surfaced.. all those who voted for him and knew that he was the winner came to re affirm their support..

i'm at loss for words..just watching the boob tube, i was crying and thinking and writing and working all at the same time. go ahead and call me a crybaby.. or baduy.. or crazy, but i couldn't help feeling for him.

Ronnie Poe was one of those almost extinct breed of honourable men. never heard anything bad(in my book) against the guy..except that the narrow-minded called him stupid and uneducated just because he had not earned his "degree". first of all, watching his wake, seeing all the people he had helped, the lives that he had changed and made better, the hope that he had brought to millions-- i'd say he didn't need any certificate from any sad university telling the world that he was "educated" and "un-stupid". second of all, he had been personally and successfully running his own production company who holds the largest collection of well-preserved older films in the philippines. he was an astute business man with a generous, big heart, who was genuinely well-loved by his employees and apparently by everybody whom he had worked with. he shared his roof with nephews and nieces of his wife, susan roces, and considered them his own, and that alone says a lot about him. character need not a single diploma, plaque or trophy. when most things can easily come and go, the mark one's character leaves, stays.

philippines has always been a disaster-prone country, in my opinion. but starting midyear 2004, tragedies had been especially noticeable. they simply would not let up. earthquakes, floods, super typhoons, filipinos overseas being kidnapped by terrorists, peso-dollar rates in unthinkable proportions, the prices of basic commodities,utilities and gas products increasing in sky rocketing amounts, blatant corruption in the government, deaths from all walk of life--to your ordinary farmer, fisher folks, the urban father jumping off the bridge with his barely year old infant, the lady of philippine theater--zeneida amador, the great musician--levi celerio, the great composer--george canseco, the philippine king--FPJ, and now the daughter of the third most powerful man in the government who is also Poe's most open critic and political opponent--House Speaker Joe de Venecia's innocent young daughter. what do all these mean? in my book these are surely tragedies beyond normal limits. these aren't trivial matters. in my two-cents worth of piece, these indisputably alludes to something. it would be scarier to think that all these sad things happened for no reason at all. i'm just too tired to continue my thought processes at this moment.. meantime, go figure....

sometimes i have to sleep too, i think..

it's 5:22 am. i probably processed close to 300 documents already today.. i think i'm tired. i don't feel tired, but my back hurts.. i gotta buy me one of those big executive chairs that goes up and down and swivels and keeps the sitter happy and sleepy.. i need one of those.. the whole day i've been watching the coverage of this local network on FPJ's death. He died in St. Lukes, and then taken to Arlington, then to Sto. Domingo Church.. Gosh, i hope that when i die, i won't have to be transferred more than once in a single day.. i'd haunt you people...i just want to rest in peace, with music--no flowers please, but if u must, only one piece..on a pot.. a flower unplucked from its stem and still on soil or water--or whatever--alive.. ok??

on second thought, go ahead and gimme a flower.. take note.. flower without the S. i'll take a single dead flower since i'm dead anyways..anyway, i think i'll try to get some sleep. i think i have to sleep sometimes too.. i try.. but darn it, i can't stop working...i gotta buy masself some brakes..: )

thoughts from the commonwealth market

after i logged off, ronell and i went on a date.. at the romantic commonwealth market... on the way, we were talking about FPJ's death and how he was systematically cheated out of his presidential seat last may elections.

i can just imagine the next move of his supporters. knowing filipinos so well, i'd think that they would push harder for the almost-never-heard-of-anymore electoral protest. it would be the best time for them to do so, i reckon. they'd be riding on the high emotions that would engulf the nation later when they wake up to turn on their boob tubes, their radios and their morning papers.... if they play their cards right, FPJ would be sworn in as a post-mortem president of the republic of the philippines, and since he's no longer "capable" of executing his duties, loren legarda, or noli de castro--in case the recount shows loren's votes comes up short against kabayan's.. loren would like the recount..sure..she has nothing to lose and everything to gain... see, it's very possible her votes were manipulated as well, but unlike gloria macapagal-arroyo----whose comfort level, i'd guess, would be greatly diminished by this brouhaha---noli de castro really had a strong following too.mind you, this is not to say that i particularly approve of kabayan personally. noli might not be as "endangered" by this recount thing as gloria, but hey, from reporter, to newscaster, he's already the vice-president of the philippines. why would he be excited about opening the gates to another strong contender.. i don't think he'd be joyous about this challenge to his post. i don't think so.

wala lang.. some thoughts i know some of you guys wouldn't particularly care for or have the patience for, but it's not like you can't ignore this nohh... you can choose not to read and just pretend not to have seen this post.. divahhh?gotta get some kind of sleep.. any kind...btw, did you know that we really have vampire blood?? :)

holidays are here again...

it's 4:37am and i haven't slept one wink. i was working on some files till i saw my friend ruel ruiz--yupp.. the paranormal guru and consultant of nginiig, FENG SHUI 1&2 movies and other scary watchables. we were talking about the one month old cellphone which i lost last week and the materials which he'll be emailing me regarding the site which i'm developing for him-- test site ko is www.nginiig.bravehost.com--.. website developer ba ang lola nyo?? minsan.. :)

anyway, he just came from st.lukes daw with luis manzano, ate vi and other kashowbizan, and yups.. FPJ just died.. what a time to go...i really liked the guy ha.. he reminds me of mamay.. if my memory serves me right..

and so i was doodling on the computer when ronell woke up and saw the tv--which i opened upon hearing the news from ruel.. you know what he said when he saw the banner on the tv screen--FPJ PASSES AWAY .. rest in peace 1939-2004 -- "KAYA PALA E, 65 YRS OLD NA.. COMPULSORY RETIREMENT!" bwahahahahah i was laughing so hard i didn't even think if it was the proper thing to do.. o ha proper pa... hehehe anyway... yun lang.. it's christmas time and i just wish we'll all be together .... :( i miss all of you..